Melons Facts

So I started this post off thinking it was going to be a letter to the man who broke my heart. But a recurrent theme in both my life and also this blog are my exasperated matters of the heart and so therefore are my escapades into the bottoms of bottles of wine. So. What […]

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Not for Parental Consumption. An Ode to the Sexes; Women Are from Venus and Men Are from F**k Knows Where

Warning: if you are related to me, I suggest you skip this post.¬† A connoisseur of matters of the heart, you’ll no doubt notice my recurrent theme of the flailings and also the failings of men. The feminist within me wants to discuss more important issues, but here we are yet again; you have to […]

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Babe, You Smell Like Biscuits

My money and also my moods, definitely hang Carrie Bradshaw-esq in my wardrobe and are literally nowhere else to be seen. My eBay account is in full, exuberant and constant use, that has transferred solidly to Australian orders, and I could build a sufficient yet colourful fort with the amount of shoes I have. I […]

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Pig Ribs

I have this part of my body that is only akin to a roast dinner with pork belly. Its all skin and podge, and it sits neatly under my bra and above my little round untoned¬†belly; like awning for a patio. I can grab it in a crab claw hand and shake it with humour, […]

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