A Shout Out to My Ex*

*Exes. Following a break up, I once posted an ex an extra-large bag of peanut M&M’s. I picked these up on the way out of the airport following a holiday we were suppose to go on together, which I went on with my best friend as I had been unceremoniously dumped prior to it: This I thought […]

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An Overactive Imagination, an Overdraft and Ovaries

Does anyone have a crystal ball I can borrow? An official and certified future teller extraordinaire, such as Derick Acorah, Cilla Black or Jesus in a glassy ball? One of the Mystic Meg variety that is going to tell me exactly what is going to happen in the future, on a daily if not hourly basis? […]

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Late night mash dash

So, Ive just ordered takeaway mash potato to be delivered to my hotel. Yes. I am that girl. I also don’t look like the below photo without the help of good lighting, make up, filters and fat pants. Saucy. So hi! My name is Alex, AKA Melons, the nickname I have been so uncomfortably and […]

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